The King's Page

San Marcos High School ~ Santa Barbara, CA

The King's Page

The King's Page

How to Rule the School

If you want to rule the school, take these tips and you will rise to the top of the food chain. By taking my advice and applying it to your life at San Marcos you will find yourself thriving in the day to day as a royal. You will instantly launch to the top of the hierarchy here at San Marcos, rising above all of your fellow classmates. If ruling the school has always been a dream for you make sure your speakers are charged and your headphones are at home! 

Image courtesy of Unsplash

As you walk from class to class at San Marcos you may notice many of the upperclassmen taking up a slower walking pace often stopping for conversion in the middle of the hallways. The most common place you may see this in the main hall and the first step to royalty at San Marcos is to take as long as you can walking through the main hall during the passing period. The more people who have to wait behind you the cooler you look. People scrambling to get around you will remember your face and start to believe that you are above them. So my first tip for you is to walk as slowly as you can.  

We all know that feeling after a long day and you lay down in your bed, take a deep break, pick up your phone and look at memes. Tonight when you come to the part of your nighttime routine where you look at memes be sure to save some super funny ones for your camera roll at school the next day. Keep these memes on hand as you will want to have them ready because as soon as someone seems to be completely focused and in the zone start to airdrop your incredibly funny memes to everyone, causing disruption in the classroom. My second tip is to constantly be air dropping your classmates’ memes. Everyone will be sure to idolize you for the much needed break just when they finally get focused. 

One thing special to San Marcos is that we are always open to new music. We love to be constantly immersed in sound. It creates a party-like atmosphere in the classrooms which is vital for an A plus learning environment. So anytime you want to jam to your Spotify wrapped or your new summer playlist in the making be sure to pull out your fully charged speaker, turn the volume to a solid 8 and let the music play. Playing music through a speaker (rather than your headphones) will attract only the coolest people to you. My third tip is to only play music through a speaker and be sure to put it at full volume in the hallways. As you walk through the hallways people will hear you coming and know that someone important is in their presence. 

As we all know there are many rites of passage in high school, like going to school football games, and showing your school spirit but the most exciting one that will actually affect you for the rest of your life is getting your license. My final and most important tip I have for you is to adapt to a senior mindset! Let’s say you are at a football or a basketball game, be sure to be at the VERY front of the student section, leading all of the chants, and going all out with your school spirit will make all of your peers including the actual seniors admire you. As driving in cars with your friends and being one of the only lowerclassmen getting rides from seniors is an immediate sign of royal royalty, be sure to be constantly asking and nagging upperclassmen for rides. People will see you in the cars and admire you for your rank in the San Marcos hierarchy. Taking it one step further, by the time you are old enough to drive your own car, be sure to park in the “undesignated” senior areas of the parking lot. People will see your car parked surrounded by seniors’ cars and know that anyone riding in that car is unbelievably cool.

By mastering and executing these 4 tips your life as a San Marcos student will be a breeze. Walking through the hallways will feel as though you are at a red carpet runway show. Your confidence, popularity, and well being will be boosted making your high school experience a lit crazy movie. 

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How to Rule the School