America is facing a crisis. Every day, thousands of ghosts and ghouls come into our world, the land of the living. It is terrible. This spooky season, the border between the living and the dead is the weakest it has been in American history. The fear within the living population is increasing at rates never seen before. Living Americans will soon become forgotten in our country, replaced by ghosts and ghouls from the land of the dead.
The job market is in the midst of a huge challenge. Because of their magical powers, these ghosts are possessing all kinds of jobs and outperforming the living workers. Millions of Americans are losing their jobs every single day. After all, how can you compete against someone who doesn’t need to eat, drink, or sleep? All you can do is pray that these spiritual workers don’t outshine you at your job.
The ghosts and ghouls are driving up housing costs by haunting millions of creepy run-down mansions that have been in the family for over a century. The number of unhaunted houses in America is rapidly decreasing, with 1 in 5 houses being occupied by the souls of people of the past. These supernatural ghouls are the reason why nobody can buy a home anymore. It is a ghastly inconvenience, to say the least.
“After my grandpa died, I would see his ghost floating around the house late at night, or even staring at me through my closet as I tried to sleep,” said junior Alex Soght.
“And now all these mystical ghosts are coming into my house, trying to haunt us when we didn’t even know them in their past lives. I mean, find somewhere else to haunt, go back to your own mansion or graveyard.”
Look at what’s happening to towns all over the United States. And a lot of towns don’t want to talk about it because they are so embarrassed by it. In Springfield, Ohio, they are eating the dogs. The ghosts that came in. They are eating the cats. These ghosts are eating the pets of the people that live there, and it’s a shame.
Worst of all, the ghosts that are entering the world of the living have no real reason to be here. In the past, it was completely acceptable for ghouls to come back and haunt people who had wronged them during their living life or to haunt their old house, but this Halloween things have significantly changed. The ghosts slipping through the cracks between the world of living and dead have no one to haunt, nowhere to prowl, and nothing to do other than torture innocent Americans. They don’t even have a haunted family heirloom or creepy basement filled with odd religious artifacts and statues. This influx of unjustified paranormal activity is putting all living Americans in danger. We must get to the root of the problems and figure out why this is happening this season and we must figure out how to stop this chaos.
We need to stand as one group and protect ourselves from this invasion of these spooky spirits who think they can come and haunt us for no reason. This Halloween season, we must unite and send these supernatural beings back to the land of the dead.
