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Birds Aren’t Real: Government Conspires to Replace all Birds with Drones

JONAH ASKEW

Staff Writer

Birds flock the sky every day in hundreds of cities, resting on telephone wires in rural Kansas and eating bread out of the hand of an old lady in Central Park. A murder of crows flies across the sky scouting for worms and insects on the ground, a squabble of seagulls steals Cheetos from a toddler on the beach; no matter where you live there will be some species of bird crowding the sky. Little do you know, birds are purely a creation manufactured by the American government.

In late December 2018, the government under the Trump administration went into a national lockdown when Congress and President Trump could not agree on an appropriations bill. For 35 days, one quarter of the federal government was shut down, causing 11 billion dollars in losses. During this time, no information was released or available on the activity of the government, and this is when the U.S replaced every bird in America with a drone designed to monitor American citizens and their daily life. Although the lockdown was over three years ago, I remember very well that I did not see a single bird for 35 days. I was not alerted to this until many months later, when I saw a Tik Tok video about the mystery of birds from the official Birds Aren’t Real organization, I finally realized. 

Image courtesy of Creative Commons

According to the official website of the Birds Aren’t Real movement, the government first started to put drones in the sky in 1956 when CIA director Allen Dulles proposed a plan to President Dwight D. Eisenhower. Dulles hated birds, often calling them “slugs of the sky,”  and he decided he could kill two birds with one stone (pardon the pun). He proposed to slowly exterminate all of the birds around the U.S and replace them with drones that looked and moved exactly like real birds. If done correctly, no one would know any better. In order to carry out the plan, Dulles and the CIA had to eliminate millions of birds and replace them all with sophisticated surveillance drones. In the time between 1959 and 1971, nicknamed ‘Operation Water the Country,’ 12 million birds were exterminated and replaced with high tech bird robots.

It must shock you to learn that our feathered friends are just another conspiracy made by the American government! The thousands of different birds must have proved difficult to replace, but I do believe there is not a single bird still existing on the Earth. It shocked me as well, and in the mission to expose the lies the government feeds us, I ask you to join me and spread the word of the cameras in the sky. 


Jonah Askew

Staff Writer

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