German Police Waver in the Face of  Mystery Mud Wizard


Environmental activists faced off with German police to decide the fate of a small village in Germany by the name of Lutzerath. Leading the charge were Greta Thunberg, a world renowned climate activist and a mysterious ‘mud wizard’ who took a more violent yet non-lethal approach to the protests.  

When Lutzerath was faced with threats of being destroyed in order to revamp and expand an abandoned coal mine, 35,000 outraged protesters from all across Europe armed themselves with stones and fireworks. The protesters faced off for four days against German police outfitted with riot gear and tear gas. The ensuing battle resulted in at least 20 protesters being hospitalized. Protesters had set up camps and trenches in hopes to stand their ground against the police. 

German Police waver in the face of a Mystery Mud Wizard. Illustration courtesy of Avery Estrella.

These protesters see Lutzerath as more than just another coal mine that will add to Europe’s carbon emissions. They saw this as their last stand against major European coal companies. A spokesperson for the group responsible for the resistance said, “If this coal is burned, we’re actually going to take down our climate goals,” she said. “So we’re trying to, with our bodies, protect the climate goals.”

When Gage Minne, a sophomore at San Marcos High School, founder of the UFC (Ultimate Frisbee Club) and avid fan of the mud wizard, was asked why he was so invested in the mud wizard’s affairs, he said, “He’s just so inspiring, if you have seen the video, you can tell he would put his life on the line for the cause.”

Even famed climate activist Greta Thunberg was seen at Lutzerath. With the help of an unknown man dressed in wizard attire and hundreds of other protesters, Thunberg created rope systems that trapped numerous police. In the viral video seen on sites such as Twitter and Reddit the mud wizard can be seen repeatedly pushing the trapped riot officers down, effectively disabling them from mucking up the plans of the protesters. 

Despite the continuous efforts of the mud wizard and his army of protesters, they were eventually removed from the village and Lutzerath will be bulldozed. The whereabouts of the wizard are unknown, but we can only hope that in our mother earth’s next time of need, he will come to our aid yet again.