Please note: While a thirteenth sign, Ophiuchus, was rumored to be “discovered” by NASA (this statement has since been proven incorrect), most newspapers do not include it in their horoscopes. In order to uphold the respectability of the King’s Page and our Royals, we shall not include this additional zodiac sign in our paper. Only the standard twelve will be included in our horoscopes below.
Virgo (August 24–September 23): Happy Birthday, Virgo! You are really kicking butt and taking names this month. Keep up the good work, make sure you have enough resources to achieve your goals, and you are sure to succeed during your birthday month and beyond. Be sure not to let this success get to your head, as you will be called upon by a loved one for assistance. They may bring bad news, and it will be up to you to help them figure things out.
Libra (September 24–October 23): It is time to treat yourself. You know you haven’t been on the self-care grind as often as you should, so really make sure you’re setting aside time to recharge and destress. Life can be go-go-go for you, but Libra, September is your month to slow it all down. So whether that is saying no to few commitments in your social life, or turning off electronics an hour earlier, do what you can to put your best foot forward. Once you can feel good about you, you can put that positive energy towards others.
Scorpio (October 24–November 22): Put on your thinking cap and your seatbelt, Scorpio, because this is going to be a wild ride. This is your month of mentorship and connections. Pay close attention to what those you look up to in life say and do, and maybe you’ll be able to pick up a few tricks. Yes, it is sometimes tedious, and yes, it can even be frustrating, but in the end, this endeavor will be worth your while. You might even be able to pass on some of your newfound knowledge to those in your social circle, and they’ll be thankful.
Sagittarius (November 23–December 21): You will be playing a bit of catch-up this month, but do not fret. You have already overcome the aftermath of a gamble in early September, Sagittarius, and are already so much stronger than before. And boy, are you going to need that strength. Towards the end of the month, you’re going to remember a falling-out with someone close to you and dredge up past hurts. Try your best to work it out and see the other side’s perspective, and you will be fine.
Capricorn (December 22–January 20): Can you say “score”? Capricorn, you are right on track with your future this month. Do not be afraid to talk to others about your plans, as they will be able to share valuable information with you and potentially prevent future mistakes. You are also beginning to find a good balance in your life, which will heed you for the next month. Do not feel guilty for pressing pause on some aspects of life—it will not deter you from where you want to go in the long run.
Aquarius (January 21–February 19): Get your pens and pencils out, Aquarius, it’s time to do some serious soul-searching. You’ll want to have a roadmap for the events of this month, so try not to write off ideas that come from the heart. They are just as important in September as what your head tells you, and maybe even a little bit more. Once you’ve got your plans figured out, it’s time for a vacation. The sky’s the limit, and wherever you need to beat a retreat, you’ll be sure to find inspiration in spades.
Pisces (February 20–March 20): You may be tempted to hide behind the scenes, but don’t do it, Pisces. It’s time to reap the rewards of all the preparation you’ve been doing for this month. Be flexible, be creative, and don’t stress if not everything sorts itself out this month. Good things take time, and time is exactly what you’ll need to tackle your academic life in September. You’re in for a world of happiness if you can just stick to what you’ve been working towards up until now and be satisfied with that alone.
Aries (March 21–April 20): Things are about to get pretty exciting for you this month, with twists and turns you wouldn’t have ever imagined. Whatever surprises life throws at you, it will be important for you to cut out any negativity or toxicity in your life, especially if it pertains to your social life. With this newfound sense of self, you’ll also be better equipped to deal with the darker things in life. Time to prioritize what you really care about in September, Aries—and don’t be hesitant to quit things that you’re no longer passionate about in your life. It could very well be the best decision you make this month.
Taurus (April 21–May 20): Oh, Taurus, it’s in-your-feelings time this month, and you’ll have lots of it. But be aware—you’ll have to put up some walls this September too, as certain folks in your life may be taking advantage of you and your kind heart, and that needs to stop ASAP. This painful but necessary task won’t go unrewarded, as you’re going to get a clean slate either in creativity or romance before the month is over. Whatever little frustrations you deal with right now will clear up soon; however, you’ll need to reflect on how you dealt with that frustration in the past to speed up the process. Put all that awesomeness to good use and you won’t regret it!
Gemini (May 21–June 21): You’ll be feeling very bold and confident this September, Gemini, and your negotiation powers will be at an all time high. Your home life will be shaken up in some way, but whether that will mean new furniture or rooming with someone different is a mystery. You’re no stranger to spilling all the tea, and you’ll get a choice opportunity to do so this month, perhaps listening to someone else’s for a change as well. While the beginning of the month was lighthearted for you, you’re going to start to see some serious changes going into October. Pay attention to the long path of the future ahead of you, and try not to take shortcuts.
Cancer (June 22–July 22): We know you hate to admit it, but this month, you really are all that, Cancer. You’ve had your fair share of humble pie and September brings a welcome and refreshing change to your story. But while you may be getting more attention than ever this month, don’t press your luck—any risks that you take may turn out very badly for you. Your social life will continue to be buzzing as you near the end of the month, and you may well end up with extra activities on your plate that you hadn’t planned for—a shame for a sign that adores planning. Don’t despair, though, you’ll get back on the gain train soon enough, and while difficult, your struggles won’t last long.
Leo (July 23–August 23): Cha-ching, it’s money time for you, Leo! Not so fast though, as you’ll also have to deal with some serious financial problems of your past in September. In addition, you’re going to be juggling a lot of work, but that’s okay, because you have room for more good things in your life as well, particularly when it comes to friendship. Do be sure to keep your curiosity active and question what you really value in life—it can be a time-consuming endeavor, but will offer endless guidance and clarification moving forward. Introspection towards the end of the month, in fact, is key to your happiness in October, so keep reflecting on what went well and not so well—you’ve got this!