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Why Golf Is NOT A Sport

LEO METZGER

Editor-In-Chief

Golf is not a sport, and it is not even a debate. There are three main parts to this argument, and each one is just as sound as the next. Attempt as you will to find holes, you will find none. Golf is not a sport.

First, we need to turn to the definition of a sport: “An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment.” Looking at the first part of the definition, sports require activity and physical difficulty, golf does not. The prime example of this is John Daly, a retired professional golfer who has won multiple major championships and gone head to head with Tiger Woods on many occasions. Looking at Daly (a disheveled man with a massive belly, rarely seen more than 5 feet from alcohol or a cigarette), athletic is not the first word that comes to mind, and he was able to compete with and even beat the greatest player of all time. Golf at the amateur level is even worse. People can pull up to the course, hop in a cart, and take a maximum of 100 steps in 5 hours, drink 10 beers, and make it back to their cars without burning a single calorie. If you consider THAT a sport, you are kidding yourself.

Image courtesy of Creative Commons

Secondly, we turn to the other part of the definition of a sport. Sports require skill, this is simply not something required in golf. A golf ball has a diameter of 1.68 inches, and is generally hit by a club face that is about 5 inches wide, trying to hit it into a hole that has a diameter of 4.25 inches. Less than a quarter of an inch off center or one sixty-fourth of a degree of rotation of the clubface at the strike could send the golf ball flying offline either out of bounds or into water. All you have to do is swing the golf club at about 110 miles per hour without rotating the face whatsoever and hit the golf ball directly in the center. Is that so hard? No.

Finally, the most logical argument is related to the fact that birds are not real. It is common knowledge that so-called “birds” do not really exist, they are just government drones, we all know that. Golf’s scoring system is surrounded by birds: “Birdie,” “Eagle,” and “Albatross” describe different scores in relation to par on a hole. Golf’s most fundamental aspect is connected to a species of animal that does not exist. Therefore, not only is golf not a sport, but golf does not exist. Golf is not actually real.

I encourage you to debate this topic, if you dare. You can find me on instagram, @leometzgergolf. Do not let what you see on my feed fool you, I am a full on supporter of golf not being a sport, I mean, it is hard not to be. Golf is not a sport, and those who play should not even think of calling themselves athletes. Period.

Hannah (17)

Leo Metzger

Editor-In-Chief

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